We’ll Be the last ones Standing
*When I first Met You I hated your guts … But at the Time I was going through a bad breakup & didn’t bother to get to know you
*Second time I met you ..I was still in denial …I wanted to stay Good friends ..even though I knew you where interested in me, u had a Mohawk then
*Third time we met…you came to my Church.. watched movies right after… you gave me a kiss on the cheek that night before I left home early
*Fourth time it was my 18th birthday, you waited 3 years to officially ask me out…We had a LDR but you still …waited
*Fifth Time it was Valentines day..I hated all the painful memories with that holiday but You gave me a necklace & Told me to keep my heart open & love will find its way back in.. My views on Love changed since then
*Sixth Time we met.. I traveled all the way to you for the first time on Halloween.. it was Raining… We had our first kiss (it was awkward)
*That Day I Woke up in the hospital from Trying to commit suicide you were there.. I remember Gods Whisper… That you are the One
***As the years went on we took risks, we ran away together, got engaged, got our own place & lived life as if we were a married couple. Our journey hasn’t Ended & as far As I’m concerned through all the Hardships and trials… in the bitter end We will be the last one standing.

 


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Caricatures…

 

Lol It looks nothing like us!!! oh well I tried ahaha I didnt have any pencils laying arund in the office.. only ball point pens, so I couldn’t go back and erase any of my mistakes 

Soooo Watsup everyone been awhile ?  

I have soo much to catch up on and I cant believe February is almost over. it has been a rough month for me but I honestly cant wait for next month !!! 

Im going to turn 22 !!! So excited and I have soo much to plan ! whoo !


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Does it Hurt you ?

Today I saw you glimpse at the piece of jewelry on my pinkey finger …     I don’t wear it all the time … Usually Only when it crosses my mind.

its been through alot - its been through everything you haven’t… 

I don’t wear it to grieve, I wear it at times when I need a lil strength… a small reminder of what was. As Something that still exist from my darkest days…

it no longer shines, its not symmetrical and parts of it is broken and missing…

To some it may look like scraps, junk, trash

but to me its a strong memory… an irreplaceable treasure.

But does it hurt you that I clearly remember ? does it bothers you that it takes longer for me to let go ? 

does it hurt you to imagine what I been through ? does it kill you that all these years I’ve held on to something that you worked so hard to try and get rid of?

your not jealous of the dead, you have no right to be jealous of the past.. my past  

your silence is enough to let me know what is on your mind…

the expression on your face…. disappointment, and hopelessness

you held in your thoughts long enough… So I look at you and smiled 

HOPE….PATIENTS…..FAITH 

I’m Still fighting for us - don’t look at this promise ring as something that’s holding me back… look at it as a weapon that will help me fight through this…

I’m already strong not just from this ring, or the past 

but mostly from your existence 


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God Forgives and Forget

Psalms 103:12  As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.


Hebrews 8:12  For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.


Hebrews 10:17  And their sins and iniquities will I remember no mor


The problem is God has the capacity to forgive and forgive. As humans it’s hard for us to forget, or to even forgive ourselves for our transgressions, especially when they have condemned us to repentance. We must remember, we are not saved because of who WE are or what WE have done; it’s because of who HE is and what HE has done for us.
So since we can’t easily forget what we’ve done, we must simply REMEMBER - what HE has done for us, and accept that by faith, and not let the devil keep us under condemnation and guilt bu reminding us of our past.


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We’ve never claimed to be perfect people but were definitely perfect for each other… Loving someone never means “losing yourself” but if you do find someone that makes you a better person don’t be afraid to give that part of yourself to them…
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Pain will leave you, when you let go
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Lately…I’m slowly forgetting How I feel about u ?
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One of the Hardest thing for me to do is to show disappointment. If someone disappoints me All I can Do is just smile and Say “dont worry about it ” Usually I shrug it off, or keep it to myself. & I pay for it later by letting it eat me up inside. This is why I come off as such an emotionless bitch sometimes. I swear I’m not cold hearted… Its just that I cared too much in the past to the point of me not wanting to care anymore Now. So If you ever disappoint me I Wont tell you - you’ll just know <3
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image


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In Memory of Irving Elenes…

freshman year of high school … Coming back to school from Thanksgiving break..

I’m sitting in class staring at that empty seat in front of me where u use to sat.

I stood infront of the pale blue poles infront of Mr.Davis class where we would chat before class starts.

I would play basketball in P.E & remember everytime we would play against eachother.. We where so competitive..

that day you let me barrow your Corona Jersey for jersey day At Duncan…

So many more memories still so rich and clear in my mind.. Every Thanksgiving I think about You , I think About those bullets, the tears…

You are forever missed. R.i.p Buddy Forever your Pepino 

),: happy thanksgiving


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